Parenting Children
Taken from 'Chats with Nicky and Sila Lee'
Joined by Mark Russell
One of Nicky and Sila’s first conversations was with Mark Russell. Mark has and incredible CV for his age, but after a rich and varied professional life has most recently became the CEO of the Children’s Society. His passion for the wellbeing of all children is incredibly evident in the work that he does an the way that he is working towards a better life for all children.
There are so many pressures on children today, made even worse through the pandemic. This interview was recorded while still in lockdown and the organisation had recently published a report called Life on Hold, where they looked at the implications of COVID-19 on children wellbeing, using their annual reports on wellbeing.
“We reported that one in eight children in this country was profoundly unhappy during COVID-19 that increased to one in five. So substantial increase in young people reporting as being unhappy. And there are all kinds of reasons for that. Firstly schools were closed. And that's a really important point because actually most of the referrals that come to mental health professionals and safeguarding professionals come through school. So for us, for a long time, we have no eyes and ears as a society on some of the most vulnerable children in our midst. Number two, those children were frequently they're living at home possibly in poverty or without the free school meals. And also perhaps with, um, increased levels of domestic violence going on as well. So COVID-19 had a dramatic impact on the most vulnerable children in this country and still does… We'd seen for many, many years a levelling up between the less well off and the more well-off children in terms of educational attainment. We're now seeing that gap increasing again. So there's a substantial amount of work to do as a society to ensure that a generation of children are not left disadvantaged by this awful virus.”
The Children’s Society publishes a report every year call the Good Childhood Report and what we are seeing is a tragic drop in the wellbeing of children. And we are also incredibly low when compared with other countries. So why are we falling behind?
First, Mark shared about what they measure and why. “I think it's important to say why we measure wellbeing, because there are a number of ways you can look at children's lives. You can look at in terms of the income coming into their family, or the kind of housing they live in, or their educational attainment wellbeing as a deeper concept than that wellbeing is about how you feel about your life. It's about how you feel your life is going about how happy you are with your school, your friends, your family, it's about whether you feel anxious, sad, or hopeful. And it's about whether you have a sense of purpose in your life. And so we think wellbeing is a much better way to measure how our children are doing in our society. And so the children's society produced this thing as part of our good job at the port called good childhood index.
And that's what we've been measuring year after year. And the good childhood index is if you like, it's a basket of all of the things that we think a child needs to have a good childhood. So there are 10 things. We look at family, we look at friends, we look at what home is like. We look at health, about how they use their time. We think about the money the family has. We think about how that young person feels about the future, about the level of choice that they have in their lives. We look at how they feel about their appearance, and we look at how they feel about school. And so every single year, we do questions to these thousands of young people on those 10 domains of their lives. And we can say categorically that year after year after year, since 2009, that index that, that weighted index with all of those 10 demands is showing the children's wellbeing in this country is getting worse year after year after year.
But I happen to believe that in the sixth richest economy in the world children's lives should be getting easier and not harder, but our report is showing that their lives are getting harder. And as you rightly say, this year, we took that an extra stage further. We said, well, well, how are the UK children doing in comparison to children across Europe? And what we've shown in our report is that out of 24 countries in Europe, the United Kingdom, children wellbeing is the bottom of the pile. In three of the four measures that we looked at, we were 24 out of 24, which is dreadful. So that's a snapshot of children's lives in terms of their life satisfaction, in terms of their sense of happiness and in terms of how sad they feel at times. We are the bottom of the pile, British children are struggling more than any other children in Europe. And we have to ask hard questions of our society, why that is, and to take responsibility as a society to turn that right.”
Now this might be disheartening to hear, especially for parents. So what can we do so that children flourish? So that they feel good goof about themselves and grow up with a sense of purpose and a confidence in making friendships?
There’s two main areas that need to be addressed at a high level. One of the areas where there is bigger gap between the UK and other countries is that children here are more afraid of failure. Why is that? “[W]e have to think about what that means for the pressure that children are under… young people have substantial pressure put on them. And we have an education system that assesses a child's entire life in two sets of exams. And that pressure is weighing down on children, way more in this country than other countries. There's something about pressure that families can put on children and also pressure that school can put on children. So I think at a high level [there] needs to be an assessment of how we assess education and progress.
And secondly, the other key factor that we find was that there was substantial increases in child poverty in this country. Whereas in mainland Europe, child poverty has been going down. In this country, child poverty has gone up by four percentage points in the last couple of years. So we know there are more children living in poor housing. We know there are more children living with not enough food on the table. We know from Trussell trust and all of the other agencies that the amount of people needing a food bank has gone up and up and up and up.
So we have to address a high level, the issues of poverty. And that means a look at housing policy. It means a look at the benefit system and making sure that work pays, cause so many people living in poverty are actually working a 40 hour week. So those are the high level things that we've got to fight for and work for. A fairer and more just society.”
And this is some of the great work that the Children’s Society is doing and we should all be joining in where possible. While these issues may seem daunting to some, mark goes on to encourage families in practical things that may be the most important support we can give to children.
“But in terms of families, what I would say is the two key issues out of all of the domains we look at in a child's life are choice and family. So family relationships really matter to children. Children need loving adults around them, who they feel have got their back, who they feel safe with, who they feel they can talk about stuff with. They're not going to be put under all this extra pressure that we've read about in our report. So I would say to families, make sure you're checking in children. I mean really checking in and not just asking how are they. Spending quality time with children, doing stuff, going for a walk, going out… taking quality time with children, to be interested in the things that are going on in their lives. And to keep saying to them that you love them, that they're important that you think they're fantastic and that anything going on in their lives, no matter what is, they should always feel able to talk to you about it. That sense of safety around a child, that child feels completely safe to have conversations, even tough ones, is gold. And that's what our report tells us that children need strong, supportive family and networks around them to help them flourish and thrive. So the advice to families is give young people time, spend quality time, reassure them that they're loved and that they matter and that you care and that you're always available to talk. Should there be anything that they want to talk about.”
You can watch the full interview below.
Additional Resources
https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk
All quotes taken from 'Chats with Nicky and Sila Lee, Joined by Mark Russell'